


three times

by valety



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Crushes, First Kiss, Fluff, Light Angst, Other, POV Second Person, Teasing/Bickering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 17:05:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5135696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valety/pseuds/valety
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Asriel tries to make Chara happy, but he has no idea what Chara actually wants. Then again, he has no idea what <em>he</em> actually wants, either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	three times

**Author's Note:**

> something silly to make me feel better about all my angsty chara-and-asriel feels. chara's a tsundere now I guess? anyway please enjoy these two dumb kids

It starts because the two of you are playing Humans and Monsters. Chara refuses to be the human.

"It's boring," they say dismissively. "I already _know_ what it's like to be a human. I want to be a monster."

"What kind of monster would you be?" you ask, trying to picture it. You think of Chara, only soft, and fuzzy, and maybe with long, floppy ears like yours. You wouldn't change much, you decide; after all, Chara is perfectly fine just the way they are. Still, fur would make them even nicer to hug and you like the idea of being able to retaliate whenever they tried to pull on your ears.

"I dunno," Chara says. Their eyes light up and they bare their teeth, curling their fingers like claws. "A scary one! Something big, and powerful, and _evil."_

"Monsters aren't evil," you protest, swatting away the imaginary claws that Chara swipes at you with. If they were real you'd probably be in pieces by now, but as it is, they're just kind of tickling you.

"I know," they say, apparently turning back into a human, judging by the way they drop their claws. "I'm not really sure what kind I'd be. I'd like to try it sometime, though. Being a monster sounds cool. Maybe there's a secret potion somewhere that'd turn me into one." And they look thoughtful for a moment, tapping their chin before adding, "If there was, I'd drink it."

"Really?" you ask. "Don't you like being human?" Being human seemed like it might be kind of interesting to you, especially if other humans were anything like Chara. All solid flesh and wide mouths and weird-looking hands, coupled with fun new games and exciting ideas. Plus, they got to live on the surface. Surely _that_ had to count for something.

"Nah. It'd be more fun to be a goat like you." And Chara grins, shoving your arm playfully. At least, you assume it's meant to be playful - it's actually kind of hard and almost knocks you over. "C'mon, go get that potion for me, Asriel!"

"I'm not a _goat_ ," you protest, rubbing your arm. You have no idea what a goat is, but it doesn't sound very nice.

Chara laughs at that, tackling you into the grass and gnawing at your ear with what they proclaim to be the _biggest, most terrifying fangs the world has ever seen!_ , and by then you're too distracted to care.

* * *

As far as you know, no such potion exists. Still, you decide to ask your mom about it, just in case. If it _did_ exist, she would be the one to know about it; after all, your mom knows everything.

You ask her after dinner, when the four of you are sitting outside together. Your mother is settled comfortably in a lawn chair with one of her books, only occasionally glancing up from the page to check in on your father and Chara. The two of them are weeding today, your father moving as slowly as ever and taking great care to be as gentle as possible with his beloved flowers. Meanwhile, Chara hacks away gleefully and without discrimination, cackling as they brandish your father's gardening scissors.

Normally you'd be helping them, but tonight you have an Important Question to ask.

When you do, she just laughs.

"I am sorry, but no such potion exists," your mother tells you gently. "I am sure Chara doesn't really want one anyway. You do not have to take them so seriously all the time, my child."

"But I _want_ to," you say, and she laughs again and asks if you would like to read with her.

It just so happens that you would. And so the evening passes with you on your mother's lap, listening to her read about snails while your father begs a giggling Chara to _please_ be more careful with those shears.

But although you want to be learning new and exciting snail facts with her, you can't help getting distracted as you watch your father try to restrain Chara.

The three of you had shared many pleasant evenings together back before Chara had come to live with you, but you couldn't recall any of them now. It wasn't that your memory was faulty; it was that they all seemed to blend together in your mind. Every day had been the same, mildly pleasant and peaceful and little else. Your mother would read, your father would work, and though you often wandered between the two in search of something interesting to do, that something was never found.

You watch Chara pout as your father confiscates their scissors, then brighten as he asks them to fetch something from his shed. They take off running, footsteps light and arms spread wide, and you think of the dead-eyed child you'd found so long ago and how different the vibrant Chara of today was.

They're happy here, you think. Happier than they were when you first found them, at any rate. But they're still human. Even if they're happy, the Underground will never truly be their home. They'll always be an anomaly.

You picture some imaginary monster seeing the two of you and laughing about how mismatched you are, about how obvious it is that you don't belong together, and you scowl. You imagine telling them off. In your mind you're tall and brave and instantly rise to Chara's defence, telling that imaginary monster that they can stuff it, that they don't know _anything,_ that Chara's the best...and there your imagination fails. Best what? Best friend? Best sibling?

None of those words seem adequate, exactly, and you start to feel just the tiniest bit anxious.

* * *

Night falls. Not in any discernible way, what with the Underground having neither sun nor sky, but still in such a way that your parents eventually send you off to bed. As the two of you are brushing your teeth in your shared washroom, you tell Chara what your mother said.

"Oh, bleh," Chara says, sticking out their tongue. "I don't care anymore. I never really wanted to be a goat anyway."

"You don't want to be like me?" you ask. It sounds more like _oo on't ant o ee ike me?_ because your mouth is full of toothpaste.

Chara seems to understand you regardless, and they scowl at you through the mirror. "No, cuz you're a crybaby," they say, turning off the tap. " _You_ should try to be more like _me._ That way you'll be stronger and we can play rougher without me having to worry about hurting you."

You spit into the sink. When you do, you catch sight of your pointed teeth. So different from Chara's blunt, uneven ones.

"You want me to be human?" you ask.

You may have been able to imagine Chara as a monster before, but you can't even begin to imagine yourself as a human. Everything about you that makes you _you_ is so _different_ from Chara. Would you have to get rid of all that? Your ears, your tail, your fur? Your horns?

"Can humans have horns?" you ask, turning away from the mirror, but Chara is already gone.

* * *

The next day, you ask your mother. She just laughs, and sighs, and sweeps you into yet another crushing hug before sending you off to play. But her dismissal isn't enough for you to stop thinking about it, and so at dinner you're far more distracted than usual, absently pushing snails around your plate with your fork.

You're so distracted that you don't even notice when a snail comes flying at you from across the table. It _thwaps_ you on the cheek.

"Ow!"

Chara snickers.

"Don't throw food," your father chastises.

"So- _rry,_ " Chara sing-songs. Your mother nods, your father returns to his meal, and dinner resumes without incident, you and Chara making faces at one another when your parents aren't looking and kicking each other under the table.

You head straight to your room afterwards, ignoring Chara when they call your name. It's surprisingly hard for you to do so: by now, it's almost instinct for you to jump at the sound of their voice. Still, you have work to do - you're not entirely sure where to begin, not being particularly adept at magic yet, but if your mother doesn't know any spells that can do what you want, then you'll just have to figure them out yourself.

You think of Chara and their sharp grins, their pranks, the way like to pinch and kick and wrestle. You think of Chara and their human soul and of the long, long years ahead of you and not ahead of Chara. They embarrass you, sure, and sometimes they make you angry, but although the two of you are still so young, the thought of someday losing all that hurts in a way you never knew you could hurt.

You'd never thought about any of this before. It was only because Chara had mentioned wanting to be a monster that you'd even thought of it at all. But if there's some way, any way, to even things out a bit, then you want to find it. It's a daunting task, but you're filled with determination.

Notepad and pencils in hand, you settle down on your bed to begin your sketches. You haven't quite decided what the sketches will be of yet, not being entirely sure of how one goes about inventing a spell, but still, this is bound to be a long, tiresome project. You definitely have to get started right away so that it's ready as soon as possible. Good think you have a place as quiet as your room to work in peace in.

 _Working in peace_ ends up lasting all of five minutes before Chara throws open your door and barges into your room.

"What are you doing?" they ask, flopping onto the bed beside you. The movement shakes the mattress, sending one of your pencils rolling off onto the floor.

"Making a spell," you say, bending over to collect the stray pencil.

"What kind of spell? A spell to blow up the world?"

" _No._ Why would I wanna do that?" You make a face, partly in response to their guess and partly to buy yourself time to consider whether or not you should tell them. In the end, you decide you might as well. "It's a spell to make a monster human," you confess. "You know, like we talked about."

"Huh, really?" Chara sits upright at that, leaning over to see the notes you've made, a curious expression on their face. You quickly move to cover your pad; your notes aren't very impressive yet, consisting mostly of the words _monster - > human?_ and _no horns ]:c_. "Is it actually possible?"

"I dunno yet," you admit with a frown. "I wanna try, though. Mom said she didn't know any, but maybe _I_ can be the one to make one. Or something close, anyway."

"Oh." And Chara settles back down.

Something close...what would be close to making a monster a human, you wonder? Making a human live longer, maybe. Making a monster live less. Bridging the gap so that a monster and a human could stay friends, could stay together. Going _beyond_ the gap. Being more than just friends, more than just siblings, more than just...

Chara's head falls onto your shoulder and you grow still. Their eyes are shut and you wonder briefly if they've fallen asleep, but their eyelids flutter and you realize that they haven't; they're just relaxed. Despite this, they still lean on you. They want to be close, you realize, even if you're not playing with them, and the thought makes you glow inside.

You remember the imaginary monster you'd fantasized about telling off the other day. _See?_ you imagine saying. _How can you say it's not right? How can you say monsters and humans are too different? Don't you see how_ good _this is?_

For a moment, the two of you sit side-by-side in silence, accompanied only by the drumming of your pencil on your notepad and the ticking of the clock.

Their hair is so floppy, you notice. Even without being a monster or having fur, they're still kind of fluffy, in a way.

You're struck with the urge to pull on their hair. Your fingers twitch.

You realize that you've become kind of distracted and the ticking of the clock grows judgemental.

"You don't _really_ have to do any of that," Chara says finally, sounding bored. Their eyes are still closed, their head still resting on your shoulder. "I was only kidding before. I mean, it's obviously impossible, and if you were human, I couldn't do _this."_ And they tug sharply at your ear.

"Ow! Don't do that," you say, shoving their hand away. Chara giggles. "It's not even really about being human anyway."

They lift their head then, staring at you as though you've said something that took them by surprise.

"What do you mean?" they ask.

You shrug. The drumming of your pencil grows faster.

They tilt their head slightly, gazing at you with a thoughtful expression. It's as though they've seen something new. Something interesting.

You don't know how to respond to a look like that. There's an expectation there that you both want to meet and run away from. So you ignore it, sighing and standing up to put your things away. You can tell by now that you're not going to get anything done.

As you're opening your drawer to drop your pad and pencils inside, you hear Chara ask, "Were you really going to try and make yourself human just because I told you to?"

"Maybe," is all you say, shutting the drawer.

"What else would you do for me?"

You turn, then freeze.

They're standing now, having somehow managed to get off the bed and approach you without you noticing. Their eyes bore into yours with an intensity you can't recall ever having seen from them before. There's something unsettling about it. You have no idea what they want you to say, so you turn your head, fiddling with the hem of your sweater to avoid their gaze. "I don't know."

Their hand reaches out and takes hold of one of your ears. This time, the touch is gentle; they don't pull. But they don't answer you, either, and their silence quickly grows far more uncomfortable than anything else about your current situation.

"A lot, I guess?" you say at last, lifting your head slightly so that you can see their face and try to gauge their reaction. Their expression is unreadable. "I mean, you're my friend...but I'm _your_ friend too, right?" Ugh, you're babbling.

"Mm."

You wait for them to say something, anything, but they don't. The seconds drag on.

Suddenly, they tug on your ear, pulling your face close to theirs, and before you know it they're kissing you.

It's quick; just a duck of the head and peck on your mouth, but even that's enough to make you cry out in surprise, stumbling back.

"What was _that?"_ you cry, hands flying to your mouth.

"A kiss, dummy," Chara answers. "You do it with people you like. Don't monsters ever kiss each other?"

 _"I know what a kiss is!"_ you shout, and somewhere in the distance your father calls, _"What's all the yelling about, you two?"_

You freeze yet again, suddenly terrified of the unimaginable consequences that will surely await you when your parents find out what just happened; unimaginable because you're not exactly sure what sort of consequences await you, only that they're bound to be something horrible, because oh man, what did Chara just _do_ , was it _his_ fault, did he pressure them somehow?!

Meanwhile, Chara shouts back _"We're fine!"_ from the doorway, shutting the door with a firm _click_.

They stride back over to you, hands on their hips. "So you know what a kiss is," they say, and they look at you expectantly.

"So? Why did you kiss me?" you demand. Your heart is beating wildly in your chest, fluttering like a butterfly caught in a jar.

"Why do you _think?_ " they snap back.

You pause, and you frown, and you remember them saying, seconds ago, _you do it with people you like._

Your mind explodes a little. You can't even speak for a moment, and when you do, your voice is trembling.

"Do you...like me?" you venture.

"I didn't say that," Chara answers quickly. "You kissed me _back._ That means _you_ like _me_ , right?"

You swallow, looking away. You don't answer. Yet again you think of that imaginary monster, laughing at the two of you for being such an odd couple, and once again you feel that flare of anger at how wrong they were.

Siblings wasn't enough, friends wasn't enough, but what else was there, what other options did you have? There _was_ something else, though, something you'd very consciously been ignoring in all your confusion over how to guarantee Chara's continued presence in your life.

"Asriel?"

You can feel them staring at you, waiting for an answer, and you think of them and their human soul, the years of life they traded for that powerful heart. You think of their powerful heart and your own timid one and you wish, you wish, you wish -

You stare at your hands as they continue fiddling with the hem of your sweater. If you keep playing with it like this it will probably unravel soon.

"I don't know," you say at last. "I, I mean. You're my friend. And I definitely like you a lot. That's why...well..."

"Do you want to kiss me again?"

" _I_ didn't kiss _you,_ _you_ kissed _me!"_ You cry, head snapping upright, because regardless of the internal struggle taking place within you at the moment _you are not going to let Chara get away with lying about you like that!_

"Do you want it to happen again, though?" Chara asks.

They're standing across from you as confidently as boldly as ever, but they're pointedly looking away from you this time, scowling at the wall in apparent age. Their normally pale face is far, far pinker than it should be and their arms are wrapped tightly around their middle as though bracing themselves for something unpleasant. Their hands are gripping their sleeves, nails digging deep into their arms, a stance betraying all the tension absent from their voice.

Chara is nervous too, you realize.

It just may be the single most shocking revelation of all.

"Well," you say. "If _you_ want to, then - "

You don't get to finish your sentence, because Chara chooses that exact moment to once again pull you forward and press their mouth against yours.

Like before, the kiss is quick and dry, but this time it tastes sweeter and feels almost bubbly, like something you wouldn't mind doing again. And again. And again.

Maybe. If they wanted to.

When Chara pulls away, they're shaking slightly. They keep their head bowed low, their unbrushed hair falling into their eyes, hiding all but the tight line of their mouth.

"You kissed me again," you say carefully. "That's twice now."

"No it's not," Chara snaps, shoulders tensing. It makes you think of a wild monster raising its hackles, ready to fight. "That was an accident, stupid, it doesn't count as anything."

"Chara?"

Chara is still gripping their sleeves; tentatively, you reach forward and place a hand over one of their fists. You instantly feel it relax.

"Idiot. Idiot!" they babble. "You'd better not tell anyone or I'll - "

The third time, _you_ kiss _them._

This kiss is just as chaste as all the others and feels like a warm-up more than anything else. But Chara lets it happen, relaxes as you do it, and when you pull away, all they have to say is, _"That_ one was _you._ You can't blame _me."_

* * *

"I think I was hoping there was some secret, magical way for me to be more a part of all this," Chara tells you later, when it's very, very late and they've snuck into your bed for the hundredth night in a row. Not for any particular reason, they insist. Their own bed just gets cold, apparently. "To be more a part of this world, and this life. To be more a part of you. It's hard to accept that I'm allowed to be here sometimes."

You grow very, very warm inside, and wonder what it is about the dark that triggers honesty.

"It's not stupid," you tell them. "I felt the same way."

 _You are the future of humans and monsters,_ your father had told the two of you once, eyes gleaming with hope. Neither of you had been able to figure out what he'd meant, and all this time you'd been thinking of Chara as something irrevocably distant from you, no matter how desperately you wanted to keep them close.

But maybe there was a third option. Maybe you didn't have to perform any sort of grand gesture the way your father had led you to believe. Maybe you didn't _have_ to pick a side, but could instead unify them both.

"I'm glad we're not really family," Chara says.

That might've stung once, but now you can only smile.

"We'll be a different kind of family," you tell them.

Chara doesn't reply, but they cover their face and nod before reaching out to lace their fingers with your own, and that in itself is enough to make you want to sing.

* * *

Much, much later, you offer Chara a heart on a chain, wearing its twin around your neck. The smile they give you when they receive it is the brightest thing you've ever seen, and from that day forward the two of you wear your matching hearts - a pair, inseparable - for all the world to see.

Nobody will ever tell you that humans and monsters don't mix, you promise yourself. You won't let them.

You still think sometimes of the future - of time slipping past you, of Chara moving on without you to a distant finish line that you can't even begin to imagine. But the two of you are young still, and the future you imagine as you wear Chara's heart above your own seems vast and brilliant and full of hope in a way it never did before.

You imagine going through it with Chara's hand in yours and their smile at your side and you feel like nothing could ever scare you again.


End file.
